i feel terrible... not very happy the last few weeks.. nothing is working out. I have been having trouble sleeping lately, and when i do sleep i awake a few hours later with terrible dreams. last night, or last morning, i woke up from a dream where my grandfather was crying, in my dream we were with my family, and for no apparent reason people went off on him.. telling him how terrible of a person he is.. it got me thinking when i woke up if he is happy.. I wonder if he sits on the edge of his bed, puts his cane next to him sinking his head deep in his paws and weeps rubbing old tears of regret, current ills, or non-optimistic future. is he in physical pain, mental pain till the end.. and so on and so on such n' such yadda yadda.. watched a thing on neda tonight, pretty sad as well.. oh fun up date real quick, went to Point this weekend, which i think was good time, saw casey and got silly, was drunk before i even got to point, we broke a bunch of some kids shot glasses which was funny.. did not feel as gravy on the way home, more like grave..